February 2012
4 posts
Don’t believe whatever she say
Humans lie to humans like how they can
Lie to themselves too
We feed on our own perennial supply
Of comforting words to make it
Livable as we strike down squares
On our calendars with the dead of
Another day another day you haven’t
Given up or given in or given anything at all
We wait all our life only to be given death
The truth is that we were never sure to begin with
We never knew if it would work or not
No one can guarantee you complete accuracy
And we are all bounded by this universal trait
That all of us carry an infinite potential of
Our own failure, loss, defeat, and downfall
The difference between now and then is that
Back then I never knew of one thing that I
Would take back and redo it if I could
But now I know what that would be exactly
I’ve been wondering if our mind and body
Are two independent entities
Most say there exists a higher power
Who is the master of our existence
So if my mind is weak and deviant
Then is this immorality all coming from...
Fields of yellow pastures and I
Stood in the midst of the chaos
Would you care to lend a hand
Help me find my way out of this picture
Plastered behind a picture frame
I am someone’s memory, someone’s past
The truth hurts but the truth is an inevitable
That love given or received shares the same fate as all of us
Like the decomposed bodies buried or cremated ash
Love, like...
January 2012
7 posts
The walls may drive two bodies apart
Separating them by countless bars of steel
What the fingers no longer can hold or touch
Only amplifies what the heart does feel
Seek you in every breath I take in
Feel the distance that divides us get small
Just to know we breathe the same air
Makes it feel like you’re not gone at all
The sky can feel like a warm blanket
The same blue canvas...
You forget so easily
That your eyes feed into an ending blaze
When you think it makes me think
If you’re just buying time to spend in a daze
You forget so easily
Do you have to remember to breathe?
The rare times on which you actually recall
I feel cheated more so than relief
You forget too easily
Like plans, people and their name
Sometimes I think you just can’t be fucked...
How is it even considered sane to desire both the burning of fire and the drowning of water. It’s almost impossible to feel a split second of wonder and desire for the exact same thing you drew out of so perilously. Why do we always have look at grass that are greener. Trying not to, though, is almost impossible, have you tried? It’s like going against gravity - you try but you know...
Weren’t they all dragonflies
Wishing they were different
Pretending to be butterflies
Over waters their dreams burnt
The ripples did nothing to distort
Facts that the closest to being was being able to fly
But who or what you know you are can not be taught
Just like the good times that have gone by
We hold most dear to things which were not bought
Beauty and photographs wither with...
Do what most wouldn’t dream of to oneself
Take a needle and drive it out of health
Promise yourself tomorrow, no the next
But more of your time it takes
To utter a word or even a sound
And in your misery you’re bound
Who you are you never will be anymore
Missing all you had once before
Picking all the wrong allies
Cut all of your ties
What is freedom when you walk around...
What do we do now
Where to from here
Maybe I’ll stick around
Or grab a beer
If you want me to stay
Then I will surely leave
Perhaps not today
But you best believe
That I will
I will be gone
Days fly past my shoulder
Like a fleeting moment of a blink
Each second making me older
Much faster than I’d like to think
My mornings are biased to the night
I keep losing myself to the silence
I keep myself from the brightness of light
But I know it’s no excuse for my absence
How much longer can your patience run
I know you’ve tried because you care
And did all that...
December 2011
1 post
Time doesn’t pass any slower or so I’m told
The night may be young but I know I’m getting old
Been wandering around like I don’t give a fuck
Every door opened and crossed were just my luck
I get up on time but still always get to class late
Well don’t good things come to those who wait
Maybe I’m stuck, maybe I don’t have control
This is turning...
November 2011
9 posts
Meet me at the table by the corner store
Where we had one too many good ones
Where time had passed us by before
Time that we shared together once
Make the broken rooftop a shelter
Of a house with no lock on the door
Each time it rains it gets wetter
Because when it rains it pours
Why do you insist on going back
Even when it’s too late to choose to stay
Putting together pieces only...
It is me that has been removed
From this body of iron and steel
The stars and rivers have proved
My nightmare has become real
The petals do shamelessly fall
Off the stalk and down below
But it doesn’t even matter at all
Except to those kept in the know
I thought I had more tears to cry
But these shoes make feeling anything hard
Letting another hour stroll by
Now left with nothing...
Blamelessly huddled in a tight embrace
While you hang on a darkened grimace
Spoke of hollower hours trailing invisible days
Fooled as being just another teenage phase
Except you keep with you that stiffened face
Embedded so deep that you can’t erase
Fallen too far down from any saving grace
All you lost to time you’ll never be able to retrace
What have you left to seek some...
My ears only resonate sounds of our laughter
That emanate some sort of boisterous joy
From being in the company of one another
That either one of us can ever -should we ever - destroy
Looking past towers of buildings and sea of people
Our eyes were transfixed by the wavering kites
Against a backdrop of night everything appeared so little
When we drifted alongside soaring off to greater...
I know you meant the best
But like most things we know
Too much of a good thing
Sometimes can make it bad
I’m not holding you responsible
For only I can take to reason
Why everything is like this
Broken and worn out of its facade
All your damned words, fade into blank boxes that even you cannot remember. Have you packed your bags to last you a long way? Did you see this coming? Were your eyes too heavy from being open too long? If you could have seen the colors in different shades but blue, then maybe - i said maybe - the worst possible reality wouldn’t have come true.
All these times of jaded defeat
Prey to the injustice of the average man
Watch cement turn into concrete
Left without a thing to defend
Every beginning aimed at victory
Tired out to a destitute loss
But therein lies the irony
Of being the reason and the cause
There were no thousand suns
Or large planes to cover
It wouldn’t make any difference
Because between each other
...
My days are numbered by the figures in your head
Chasing away the possibilities of another try
There are many things that I always chose to evade
Rather have questions unanswered than have to lie
I have the knife in the grip on my bloodied hand
That held not the but someone did.
It looks different being on
The other side of the field
Wars waged not to be won
But for secrets to be revealed
There can been no victories
Not unless someone dies
A cancer and a disease
Burned into the calm skies
Ashes resemble all which was lost
Liquifying into a quiet smudge
Looks nothing like it did in the past
But it’s still just a mirage
October 2011
12 posts
It didn’t matter if it was or wasn’t there
No one likes to lose something of theirs
So don’t break until it all becomes beyond repair
And you are left with nothing
If you walk then don’t do it alone
Try not to forget and take a little joy
For they could all just be thrown
Away from the grasps of your tiny palm
Confused I am broken and denied
Refused I can at least say I tried
Did you forgive or did you forget
How much space will your heart let
Rusty and blunt becomes of the edge
Blurring my vision into a fuzzy image
The raindrops my tongue do not catch
For whose body did transpire into a wretch
Those who held any flicker of affection
Stayed for lengths tantamount to their intention
Love out of...
You say it’s choice
You say I’m free
But I know that words
Are a far cry from reality
Big talk on bigger capabilities
But now I know you won’t
How can one mean it
When truth is they don’t
Everyone is right
From where they stand
I guess you’re right to have said
That nobody truly understands
So I didn’t demand you to
I wouldn’t have believe...
There’s nothing to see here
But an arid panorama
Made harder to decipher
Reality from paranoia
Been so long since a similar blow
Forgot what it is to feel like this
Never sure of what I know
But I sure as hell won’t resist
It is not that I am weak
I hate being seen with tears
But tonight I let my emotions speak
While attempting to be self-righteous
There’s not much to debate
I am a self-inflicting maniac
A 19 year old degenerate
Who’s just like all the others in fact
Days can get all too demanding
And people can act a little cruel
The life I was living
Could’ve mistaken me for the fool
Tired from always being up for days
But I just can’t get to sleep
Is this a phase or just a chase
Up a hill way too steep
...
How are you dear
Are you lost in space
In these days I fear
An exchange of place
You used to be the one concerned
While I was seeking the thrill
But when the tables are turned
Your shoes I won’t be able to fill
Prolonged nights of anxious retreat to enclosed stairways where darkness creeps and walls creak. Every sound that emanated across the desolate space that surrounded us was always approached with such discreet suspicion. Those eyes of dubious gaze reflected the nagging throb at the back of their minds. The tensity encircling them all leaves a distinct impression on their faces that speaks of the...
Only the moon can complete the day
The Sun rises up signifying a new start
But can only go along up till midway
Taking the light along with its depart
When the Sun has made its way across
Reducing the sky to a vast canvas of blue
Shifting from the radiant image it was
As it awaits fervently for the moonlight cue
While the never ending spectacle goes on behind
The backdrop of the same...
We dispose so carelessly of words
Which were regarded with no discretion
A sudden but precious frame of time
Of our rare exchange of surging emotions
The night commanded our very attendance
But in the morning our minds still left unmade
As one warmly snugged beneath the sheets
While the other claimed the lonely side of the bed
The night before and all that happened which led to this
...
It’s an unmistakable taste
All too familiar as of late
The too distinct acidic tang
That all of us could relate
An empty gaze let to roam free
But transfixed into the distant space
Bounded by the thieves and captors
Send to bring me into the arms of disgrace
Can the shower reek of all the repulsive deeds
More than we have already of shame
Even when our thoughts transpire into...
Your fingers left a numbing trail of chills
Crept down my spine but no farther
You had hands that were always wintry cold
Even in the middle of summer
I know I would’ve been the same
And it wouldn’t be difficult to see
But it’ll always be different this time round
Cause you are you and I am me
Faint
I am not fainting
Light
I exhale lightness
In your presence, I am breathing
Yet in absence, I know needing
See the walls do slowly grow ears
Summoned all lost, forgotten and new found fears
While the cotton trail that made the sky
Broke away in tenderness between you and I
Twisted fate and our weakened spine
Was a wonderful discovery but tragic fate combined
Plagued by errant...
September 2011
11 posts
It’s all about being someone you’re not, and then get depressed for not being understood. Cry me another river, just like the rest of ‘em.
You know how sometimes when faced between two choices, we are compelled to choose one and will always live not knowing but imagining what could’ve been no matter how things all ended up - good or bad.
There’s no two way about it - and I’m sure you’ve heard it before - that the grass is greener on the otherside. And it will always be, even when you’ve moved to the...
Come tomorrow afternoon
I’ll be sailing across the sea
I’ve packed all I need in just one bag
It’s quite a feat for a girl, wouldn’t you agree?
I hope the waves decides to be nice tomorrow
And the sun won’t choose to be unkind
Unlike the scorching past few days
But either ways - dull or bright - I wouldn’t mind
Don’t worry, I won’t be gone...
We are never sure of anything at all, don’t you think? Should someone ask me what my views or thoughts were, I tend to sum it all up with “I don’t know, but that’s just what I think.” Are we afraid to hold our own opinions for fear of retaliation or judgement? Have we lost sight of truly own our own voice so much so that we tape our mouths to keep us from making even...
The glaring sunlight did little to conceal our fate
Kept nothing in darkness as the sun consumed the dark
Giving light to the reflections of our perennial misgivings
The fire that had spread into the vast horizon needed only a spark
Still the donkeys and the deers challenged the waves of trepidation
Trying to keep a step faster than the absorbing heat
The lines which had previously led...
As human beings centered by a beating heart, we assume the greatest gift of warmth in our blood, and so frequently we waste it on staining our own shirts.
Night time and the streets lose steam
While we get a shot to regain our self esteem
We used to take it to run and to hide
But gotten so used to riding the tide
The sugar rush used to get us high
Now used just so we can get by
Thought it was the cure
But reality is a lot more obscure
If there’s anything we were kept away from
Is from seeing what we have lived to become
This
You’re further than the planets in Milky Way
You remind me of stars that disappear into noon
I hear the voices pleading dear sweet Sally Mae
Don’t you be in a hurry to escape from the cocoon
The golden paths are no longer a messy din
For the wind sweeps along the nightly cries
As Sally Mae takes the first breath of air in
The haunting voices slowly dies
You can’t always be trying you know
One of these days you’ll have to do
The intention won’t always suffice
One of these days they’ll want you to
You can’t keep on doing life like this
Your tendencies are no longer slight
You ask them to come knowing fair well they won’t
But keep on asking and one day they just might
Are you aware of the consequences
Of...
Do you know what it feels like
To be drawn to the burning fire
To want to turn around and walk away
But constantly giving in to desire
Falling down the same rabbit hole
Soon everything becomes the same
This obsession you’ve come to possess
Put all your convent days to shame
Do you know how it feels like
When you’ve outdone the fun
So you want to just shoot yourself
In the...
The t-shirts that are soaked wet in sweat
And fingers that smell too much like smoke
Too wasted to remember everyone you’ve met
Stumbling across the floor full of people alike
The morning can be daunting when
Everyone wakes up to a life of some sort of structure
And you are finding it difficult just to stand
As the room swirls around your throbbing head
Such unkempt hair and pasty...
August 2011
29 posts
Quite unlike the usual crowd
Your sacrificial tendencies
Hint Southward bound
Prepared never to return
Threw a year away
Are you going to do the same
For another and the next
Your words shoot out with speed
Like bullets shot from guns
Pick a time and a day
And we’ll meet together once more
On the end of the road
Where we had first began
And soon we shall also end
It’s been quite a long time now
Rode through all that beauty and pain
But what we do to ourselves, baby
Can sometimes get a little inhumane
Our mouths filled with mostly lies
But our arm is proof of where we’ve been
The soles of our shoes have gotten so dirty
Tell me what’s the use in keeping them clean
Spending too much time here
Makes everything feel the same
The way...
Tongue tied by the subtle repressions
Tormented by the words held hostage
Leaving a trail of blisters on my hands
From holding back all the unsaid
Well acquainted with the pent up emotions
From choking back what I want to say
You can have a listening ear
But I wouldn’t tell you anyway
The silence is a reminder of how
There is nothing left to do
Except to stare into blank spaces
Which should’ve been filled by you
Memories, sweet memories
They tend to stay that way
Feels so warm and happy
But the next minute it goes away
Reality can be hard to do
Unfolding like a nightmare
When the past is so beautiful
The present can seem so bare
I won’t guarantee you anything
Not a penny or a dime
I’ll promise you nothing
For spending a little time
If you spend enough
You will learn at some point in time
That I’m not all that tough
I can be broken and bruised
But everyone seeks refuge behind a veneer
Just as hearts do hidden behind ribcages
People have more to them than how they appear
No one likes being...
Weakened arms from the daily toils of living
That can only hold the weight for so long
Awake while others are sleeping
Musing on the necessity of the necessary evils
The past will always win the fray
With arms so bruised and bloodied
Like those of insolent youths who disobey
The pain eventually subsides but not the memories
Of the taste of pleasure after pain
Of the alluring pleasure...